A POSITION STATEMENT ON FAMILY VALUES

Unless you've been stuck somewhere in the most remote corn field in Iowa, you've probably heard somebody talk about family values within the last few years. The phrase "family values" has reference to what we believe about the family. It's concerned with quality of living and how you define quality of living. It basically gets down to what you think is the most important, in other words what you value. I'm concerned because some people seem to think family values are determined primarily by economics.

Just how do we determine our family values? Some advocate a return to the traditional family. What is the traditional family? Was it idealized in the social dynamics of the Cleaver family on the "Leave it to Beaver" television show in the fifties? However much we may desire it, we're not apt to see an updated version of "Ozzie and Harriet" on our television screens. Furthermore, we're not likely to return to an agricultural society where the entire family got involved in making a living from the soil.

I don't want to throw rocks at the Cleaver family, stain the memory of Ozzie and Harriet or make light of our predecessors who lived in an agriculturally driven culture, but I am more interested in restoring Biblical family values than traditional family values. Traditional family values undergo redefinition with each passing generation; biblical family values, on the other hand, never become obsolete.

What are the Biblical family values? The list given below is not a complete one, but it's a good foundation on which to build your beliefs about family values.

Biblical values start with marriage. God created the family in the garden of Eden. Marriage serves as the linchpin of family stability. That's why Jesus said, "...what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:6).
Biblical values restrict sexual relationships to marriage. Sexual interaction within marriage is pure and enhances human fulfillment. In any other context, it is to be treated as sinful behavior. "...for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4).
Biblical values focus on a father and a mother as the primary behavior molders of children. Fathers are to bring their children up in "...the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). Mothers must know how to "...love their children" (Titus 2:4).
Biblical values require Christians to minister to families that are broken and imperfect. You don't just write people off because they are divorced, because there's only one parent present in the home or because some people have problems raising their children. We take our cue from Jesus who offered living water to a woman who had been married five times and refused to condemn a woman caught in the act of adultery. (See John 4 and John 8).

No one can accurately predict what's going to happen to families in the next century. I'm a little bit like Nellie Forbush in South Pacific. I'm "cockeyed optimist." I believe the family is going to survive, but I also believe that we're going to have some people out there who are going to try to make aberrant, abnormal and detrimental life patterns the accepted norm of society. I believe family values must be addressed. Some of the problems are economic, but they cannot be fixed with money alone. Some of the problems involve the government, but no amount of legislation is going to get the family on the right track. The true solutions are spiritual and moral. The basic problems that afflict today's family are rooted in human self centeredness and the only real solution is to surrender ourselves to the will of Christ. And when we do that we'll treat people right; we'll treat families right and family life will improve.

If you want to talk about FAMILY MATTERS write to me: nlbales@prysm.net

Norman Bales